The First Years

As of late I have been inexorably drawn to the television series "The Paper Chase".  Perhaps it is because I know the next steps in our life will be difficult and I harken to, in retrospect at least, what was a simpler time.  Those next steps (going to college) would, of course, be hard ones.  

Taking classes in auditoriums filled with students made a high school class of twenty-five look like a study group.  No one was looking over your shoulder to see how you were fairing, in some classes there were no familiar faces and your fellow classmates were likely among the best of the best; these things and many others caused me stay up late at night wondering what I had managed to get myself into. Tack on moving away from home and it still amazes me more of us didn't turn tail after the first week.

Looking back on those times from an aged and experienced point of view make them seem much more uncomplicated and easier.  As the reality of our current situation continues to unfold, moving to a new location and starting a new job seem hard.

We've moved many times before and I have had numerous first days at work.  Still, the future is always much more turbulent than the past, as we can gaze behind us to past events with experience and a sense of calm, knowing no matter how bleak things looked at that moment in time that things turn out the way they are going to, regardless of the amount of hand wringing or pacing or worrying we invested in the situation.

Some future version of myself will look back at this time and ask why I was even concerned.  Until then I will work the "all shall be well" mantra and remember that one day I will be saying, "Hey look, we've come through..."